spiritual schizophrenia

i struggle with this thing that i call spiritual schizophrenia.  I am constantly forgetting my identity.  I forget who i belong to and who i am living for, my purpose, my goals.  I am continually consumed with ME. YUCK!   I am to die to my self constantly,  instead i make everything about me, what i want, what is comfortable to me and what the world tells me my life should be.  

Our pastor taught recently about the Israelites and when they were released from egyptian captivity.  God had sent the plagues, including the death angel and then divided the water so the israelites could cross over into safety.  And then just days later they were without food and water and complaining to Moses and doubting God and focused on their own needs.

And Elijah on mt. carmel.  When he challenged the gods to a contest against the One True God.  God consumed the atlar with fire that had been drenched in water.  So Elijah had so much faith in God that he taunted the prophets of baal, but then soon after Elijah got word that jezebel was out to kill him and he ran as fast as he could away, doubting God and concerned for his life.

Galatians 2:20(niv)

I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.

Galatians 2:20 (The Message)

 ^19-21What actually took place is this: I tried keeping rules and working my head off to please God, and it didn't work. So I quit being a "law man" so that I could be God's man. Christ's life showed me how, and enabled me to do it. I identified myself completely with him. Indeed, I have been crucified with Christ. My ego is no longer central. It is no longer important that I appear righteous before you or have your good opinion, and I am no longer driven to impress God. Christ lives in me. The life you see me living is not "mine," but it is lived by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. I am not going to go back on that.

Romans 1

Therefore, in view of God's mercy, offer your body as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God.  For this is your spiritual act of worship.  Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is, HIs good pleasing and perfect will.

Romans 7:14.......Paul's description of spiritual schizophrenia

We know that the law is spiritual; but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin. ¹⁵I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. ¹⁶And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. ¹⁷As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. ¹⁸I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature.^{c]" style="font-size: 0.75em; line-height: 0.5em; ">[c]} For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. ¹⁹For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. ²⁰Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.

 ²¹So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. ²²For in my inner being I delight in God's law; ²³but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. ²⁴What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? ²⁵Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our Lord! 
      So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God's law, but in the sinful nature a slave to the law of sin.